Creating more flow in my world often shows up in new ways! For New Year’s Eve this year, my husband, Dale & I went to Panama (That’s actually a funny story how that happened, I’ll share it another time! 😁). It was a glorious party on the 66th floor of the JW Marriott in downtown Panama City. So fun! We spent the next day at the pool and wandering around the city. (It was mostly shut down for the holiday.)
The next day, we headed to the beach town of Coronado, about 2 hours south of the city. I have always loved the ocean and was looking forward to putting my toes in the sand and walking along a sunny beach. I don’t get in the water though….
The first morning, Dale bounded out of the pool area onto the beach and got right in the expansive Pacific Ocean. He was splashing and playing in the water. As he did, I got more and more agitated. Tears started streaming down my face, and by the time he came back I was in a full-on breakdown.
He was confused. Wasn’t I the one who talked incessantly about being at the beach. Had we not been in the water together at the ocean? Yes, to both, and I got in up to my ankles, letting the water splash around me.
He asked, ‘How could we be married for 29 years and I not know that you are TERRIFIED of getting in the ocean?’
I have discovered, that when we (as a species) are ashamed and terrified we get very good at hiding our ‘afflictions’.
As a result, patterns that drive us appear to be unchangeable and somewhat shameful. More Flow of goodness is STOPPED in our world and our brains simply shut down. (I learned that from my high-performance psychologist friend!)
I wasn’t always afraid of the ocean. Growing up in Minnesota, the first time I saw the ocean was when I was 8 or 9 and we went on a family vacation to Florida. I swan like a fish….until the man-o-war jellyfish came to the beach. The lifeguards started shouting and blowing their whistles. I was terrified as we got onto the shore and watched as the bubble-shaped ‘fish’ took over the beach.
I never got in the ocean again.
Dale listened to my story. I knew it was a story, yet all my systems had shut down. I sat quietly and did a few body practices to get grounded again to turn my higher brain back on so I could be ‘in flow’. When I was calm, and ready, he said he would hold my hand.
As we walked toward the ocean, he told me stories about the waves and how you can work with them. He talked about the water and how it flows. He held my hand and got me through the breakwater. I felt the panic well up. He held on to me. When I was ready, he let go. I floated for a bit. A big wave came…panic welled up inside me. I wrapped my legs around him, floated again, and felt safe.
Dale even went in and got his phone and took a picture of me. We got in the ocean each day after that. I can look at my picture now to remind me of my power and my ability to be ‘in flow’.
It’s surprising how old patterns stay until they are reprogrammed.
I had forgotten that I had that pattern of BEing and how it runs me when I don’t choose a different BEing.
How do you get into MORE FLOW?
There are many tools out there to shift patterns.
My favorites tools to get flow going are games, movements and visualizations, especially ones that we play with ourselves and others. They allow you to focus on other places (like Dale did, telling me stories about the waves) and align your body to a new reality.
